There are times when we are at our lowest,we pay attention to what people say about us and care about fitting into everyone’s good books and that’s totally normal as humans. When it becomes continuous,there’s a problem. You have reached the point where you seek VALIDATION from other people and live your lives by terms and rules that you did not make rather the ones made by SOCIETY. Self-esteem is confidence in one’s worth and abilities (at least that’s what the dictionary says). What happens when you lose that confidence…
1.LACK OF CONTENTMENT
It’s not what you’re thinking. You’re not greedy,you just don’t derive satisfaction from anything you do. You start feeling less than others and you think your best isn’t enough. You become afraid to showcase your talent because you think the world is going to complain and say you’re being a nuisance. You start paying a lot of attention to what people think about you and the only thing that comes into mind when you’re in front of people is “I hope I’m not doing anything wrong 😭”
2.BREAKDOWN OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
Your mental health is much more delicate than you think it is and the slightest negativity goes a long way in making it very unstable. You start thinking and from there,youre on your way to depression. You spend nights thinking about what you’ll wear the next day and practicing how you’ll act in front of people rather than be your true self. You start doing things beyond your limits in a bid to “fit in” and the funny part is you don’t even realize it.
3.YOUR LIFE BECOMES A LIE
You lose your originality. You stop being you. You become what you want others to see you as. You try to be that perfect person that doesn’t exist and you find yourself telling lies every second because you don’t want to be seen as you who you really are. You try to kill your true self because you think it’s a bad person and then there’s nothing real about you.
4.YOU BELIEVE IN LUCK
You no longer believe in your abilities and you attribute every success in your life to luck. You start thinking about how you just never get anything right except luck comes through for you (which is absolutely a lie). You doubt yourself and double check your achievements because you’re unable to come to terms with the fact that you achieved those things yourself.
You begin to get anxious and scared over little things that don’t even matter. You get scared of making mistakes that everyone else makes and you end up with a stress disorder because you worry about everything.
6.YOU FEEL WORTHLESS
You start to think that you have no use in life. You feel like a pain in the ass and a burden to every other person around you.You feel unimportant and useless,think that you have no skills and that you’re not good at anything other than creating problems in people’s lives. You underestimate yourself and render yourself useless as you stop doing a lot of things.
7. YOUR LIFE BECOMES A MESS
You lose your friends because you begin to push them away and you feel very unworthy of their presence in your life or you start to lose control of your actions and end up pushing them away from you unconsciously. Your academic life becomes a bigger mess as you’re only concerned about the society’s view of you. You neglect your studies and if possible forget how to study. In less time than you think,you have no social life.
Moving on to the 3D’S
Drugs become an option for you. You’re faced with so many problems: acceptance, loneliness,academic failure etc, what else do you need than something to forget your pain and the harsh realities of life. You start taking drugs and alcohol in order to forget what you’re going through,it becomes a habit and you become an addict. You grow lean and health issues join the list.What next?
What else could go wrong?, Why me?. These questions start popping up in your head and you can’t help but think about all the wrong things in your life. Thinking becomes a daily routine. You think you’re the only one going through all these so you hide it from everyone including your parents. You find solace in the utter destruction of your mind and the problem only gets worse.
You’ve had the last straw and you just can’t take it anymore. Life’s a mess and it’s messier with you in it so it’s best to quit. You can’t take it anymore,the pain,the suffering and there’s nothing good left in life so you seek peace in death. You commit suicide but not before leaving a letter telling everyone why you did it and how no one paid any attention to you forgetting the fact that you pushed them away. Also ignoring the fact that it all started when you didn’t believe in yourself and wanted to be like others.
That’s all for now. You reached the end,you might as well drop a comment 🙂☺️.
NEXT POST: REGAINING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM.