Healing is one of the many hard processes humans go through in life. Your crush just asked another girl out? Or your friend wrote a test without you?. No, you don’t need healing from that. I’m talking real life threatening situations here. That moment when it feels like your whole life has been a lie. When you find out about a condition you’re suffering from and realize you’re the only one in the family that was kept in the dark. When your whole life crashes in front of you. When your marriage of 19 years suddenly starts falling apart. You feel as though you can’t heal,you feel like there’s a hole in your heart that can’t be closed. Also when a friend of 3 years and more stabs you in the back. Then you find yourself wondering if this Earth was made for you and you think about slashing your wrist. You feel like that wound would never heal not because you chose not to forgive but because you just can’t get the image out of your head.
Healing is a process. It takes time and effort.
Healing doesn’t happen in a day,you can’t just think about it and boom it happens. You’ll have regrets ,things you wish you had done differently but all you need is time and that wound wouldn’t even leave a scar.
1. It starts with FORGIVING YOURSELF.
Regrets are a result of the blame you put on yourself. If I had gone out with him that day,he wouldn’t cheat on me. If I had quit my job,we wouldn’t have this divorce. If I had tried to keep the friendship going,she wouldn’t blackmail me. Guess what,IT HAPPENED and the least you can do is move on. Forgive yourself,mistakes are made just so lessons are learnt. Realease yourself from the bondage of that guilt that threatens to eat you up. Be patient with yourself, don’t fight it.
2.Let it out
It’s okay and it’s totally fine to cry no matter your gender. You don’t need to act tough all the time,the pain would eventually eat you up one day. Cry it out,let everything out, fill your room with tissue paper just this once. Trust me, when you’re done, you’ll feel very light headed. Crying isn’t a sign of weakness rather it somehow helps to lift that heavy burden off your head. It clears your mind. When you’re done crying, just fall into s long deep sleep and when you wake up,the feeling will surely be different.
3. Work on yourself
Do things that make you happy. You could practice Yoga ,it helps a lot. Distance yourself from situations and environments that remind you of the experience. Make new friends,visit new places,go on adventures climb rollercoasters and scream your head off. It’ll help in rediscovering yourself.
4. Learn to forgive
Nobody,absolutely nobody is above mistakes. It could have been you too,you never can tell and holding a grudge will only create a bigger wound and you find yourself having regrets all over again, trying to forgive yourself all over again and then You’re back to step one. Forgiveness is really hard, even for me,but it needs to happen. If only for your peace of mind,it needs to take place wholeheartedly and No,it doesn’t happen in a day also. It takes time to let go,to release everything you’ve been holding in towards that person,to act like nothing ever happened but it’s best.
5. It’s all in the PAST
There’s no going back,you can’t relive that day and change the order of things. You just have to move beyond that past into the present and the future. The PAST is PAST. You don’t need to ponder on it anymore. Yes,it will cross your mind some times and you might find yourself almost breaking down again but once you realize that the past will only drag you down , I’m sure you’ll be able to move past it and go on with your life. The(bad) past should be a closed page of your life that you don’t want to revisit or remember,you learnt a lesson and that’s it.
Although all these things might be hard and for a moment,you might think it’s not worth it. You might want to bury the person alive and whatever thoughts you might have towards the person but that will get you nowhere but jail or mental hospital. Practicing these things can be really hard but with time, you’ll learn to forget about it and it won’t weigh you down anymore. You might even think about it and end up smiling to yourself and laughing about how everything played out. All you need is time. Healing can take weeks, months and even years but it’ll happen eventually. If you like,you could talk to a therapist too .